Monthly Archives: September 2014

Scottish Referendum: Tension Mounts…

The government are getting even more desperate as the Big Day looms. It’s all rather pathetic as to the Devo Max offer – or whatever it is – and the scare stories about the big institutions ready to move south of the border. I’m sure the Scots can see right through it all: they’re not daft, they’re clever, tough, people. Westminster are rather making us English look daft.

It’d be interesting if the Fat Cats did move out of Scotland though. I think we should develop Berwick-upon-Tweed as the Canary Wharf of the north. The gleaming steel and glass sky scrapers of Goldman Sachs, Deutche Bank, Credit Suisse, BNP, UBS, Bank of New York, &c. would attract money and tempt in high flying staff from around the globe, and England (not Scotland, they won’t get work visas). They could build a building bigger than the Shard, that can be seen as far away as Inverness. That’ll learn ’em. I reckon Northumbrian whisky could be a real winner too.

No, it won’t happen. If it’s a Yes vote I’m going to eat a whole haggis live on You Tube (subject to availability).

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Ain’t No Blue in the Union Jack

…ain’t no Union Flag soon?…

Like most of us south of the border, until recently I thought the Scottish referendum was a bit of a joke. Westminster didn’t take the possibility of independence seriously and we all thought, bagger orf then, take your deep fried Mars Bars and your Iron Bru with you. You never liked us anyway. Suddenly, it looks like it might really happen. Could we really have a smaller UK in a few weeks’ time? Will our flag change? Will there be a change of government in Westminster? The English/British economy already seems to be worsening (there are many more consequences that many of us haven’t even started to think about yet).

If Scotland becomes independent, it’ll stir up Wales. Then, God forbid, Northern Ireland. Imagine the chaos that could cause. It might give England more courage to leave the EU, so it might not all be bad.

The government who aided and abetted this whole sorry business are rattled and are showing desperation. I’ve got to say, I’m enjoying the whole spectacle: not least Dave, Clegg, and Dead Millipede’s woeful dash up to Scotland to belatedly put their case.

Until recently I think I would have voted against independence. Is Scotland big enough to survive alone? I’m now thinking that if I lived in Scotland I might vote Yes, and be part of something new and exciting. Not sure, is it reversable? I don’t think so, I don’t think it’s like taking a jumper back to Marks and Sparks.

Maybe they’ll need help when the Scottish Army are over-run by Islamic State storming their lax borders. If they go it alone, we’d have to build up Hadrian’s Wall again. Quality work for English builders?

My prediction is that Scotland will vote No. If it goes Yes will they regret their rash decision? Will Scotland get drunk and text England late on a Friday night asking if they remember the good times they shared and arrange a drink together for old times sake?

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