I recently completed my six weeks temporary placement as a Knowledge of London Examiner, and following my ideological re-education have been assessed as suitable material to be offered an extension. I have therefore accepted another six months on the Taxi department’s Floor of Fear.
Readers of my articles will know that I have been critical of TfL. I once called them “Tf Hell”. I now know this to be wrong. Transport for London are the best organisation in the world, and our Glorious Leader, Boris, is great.
I fully endorse all TfL’s wonderful new traffic calming measures: all that road narrowing, all the chicanes, speed bumps, and enforcement cameras – especially the camera cars that park on double yellow lines.
The whole driving experience has been made easier, and any visitor to London will quickly adapt to road systems that don’t exist in other parts of the country; such as contra-flow cycle lanes, cycle lanes marked out by flower boxes (Royal College Street), and roads that look like pavements with phantom roundabouts (Exhibition Road). I fully endorse the Two Wheels Good, Four Wheels Bad mantra (excepting buses of course). Buses are brilliant, cycles are even better.
Oh and Uber is the way forward, the games’s dead for the taxi trade.
I continue to be well looked after by the Regime, and I’ll let you know how my re-education programme progresses in six months…