So, Chris “Failing” Grayling pulled out of a deal for the supply of ferries by a company that owned no ships. Never mind, I am happy to offer to supply an emergency cross-channel ferry service in the event of a hard Brexit. I can offer the use of a newly-refurbished fleet of boats, with myself as captain. True, I’m duplicitous, unreliable, and with an eye for the ladies – but I’ve given up the sauce and I want to be good. Give me a call!
Ps. Female 2nd mate required. Oilskins provided. Send photo with CV.
Peter, Coronation Street.