On Your Bike

(Original edit of article written for Taxi magazine – out this week):

 

Last summer there was an epidemic of people whizzing around London on motorised kids’ scooters. They were getting in everyone’s way and causing accidents. When it was pointed out that it was illegal to ride scooters on both public roads and pavements, the police went to work. It was widely reported that they’d stopped hundreds of people. A few were arrested, but most were let off with a lecture on the law. It appeared that time was up for these adults that had never grown up, but I hear that the powers that be are thinking of legalising scooters for road use.

This is the modern day response to illegal practices that the authorities can’t be bothered to stop. If a law is too much trouble to enforce, they just legalise it – especially if the mode of transport in question has two wheels. One of the first rules I would have learned on my Cycling Proficiency Test in 1971 would have been to never overtake on the inside. Doing so would have been considered near-suicidal. In fact, cycling in a big city would have been strictly for headcases. But here they come, zooming up the inside of cars, cabs and lorries all over London. Never mind if you’re indicating a left turn, they’ll carry straight on oblivious to the danger. They assume you’re going to look before you turn, and they assume you’ll let them undertake you. Usually, but not always, the cyclist gets lucky. Undertaking was officially sanctioned when they set up cycle lanes on the inside. Not all roads have this facility, but cyclists take it that they can undertake on all roads, whether marked out or not.

A couple of years ago we were warned that motorists were going to start getting fined for encroaching on the cyclists’ advance stop line. The advance stop line was soon accompanied by cyclists’ traffic lights that turned green before the main motorists’ light. This was another neat remedy for something that the authorities didn’t want to take responsibility for. Cyclists always accelerated through the lights before anyone else, and legalising it absolved everyone from stopping it. Anyway, the advanced stop area is now full of motorcycles. No-one appears to have been ticketed, so perhaps it’s only a matter of time before this practice is legalised. Motorcyclists also think they’re being clever by undertaking on the cyclists’ lane. I can’t imagine this being made legal, but I doubt anyone’s going to do anything about it anyway.

Nobody’s going to do anything about adults acting like kids, riding plastic scooters down Oxford Street. They can’t be bothered to keep unauthorised motor vehicles off that road; a road that is essentially a bus lane. I can see what they’re doing. TfL failed in their plan to close Oxford Street to motor vehicles entirely, so they’re just waiting for the situation gets worse before trying again. Inadequate signage gives the impression that nobody really cares. The lack of enforcement backs this up. The attitude is, if no-one cares and there are no sanctions, it’s pretty much legalised. Like cycling up the inside, or riding scooters, skateboards, and segways on the road. When congestion and pollution increases, and more accidents happen involving minicabs and vans, they’ll try again to push through a total vehicle ban. With half of Oxford Street westbound currently closed, we can see how the future might look like.

There is widespread apathy from those controlling the streets. They’ll close streets off in order to make the motorists’ life harder, but allow others to create hazards. As far as I remember, cycle rickshaws started appearing about thirty years ago. They were a nuisance back them, and they’re still here. Unlicensed and unstable, these carriages of carnage are being ridden by dubious characters charging those with more money than sense £40 for a ride along Oxford Street. Neither TfL, nor a succession of London Mayors have done anything about the menace. Could we say the same about Uber? That matter is in the balance. TfL have deemed them to be unfit to provide minicabs in London, but they are still operating.

Finally, are all these vans emblazoned with advertising authorised to drive around Buckingham Palace? I thought commercial vehicles were banned. It’s not as if there are no police officers around. No, if I was running London all those vans and rickshaws would be gone, and if I saw Prince Harry riding down The Mall on a skateboard I’d nick him too.

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