Tag Archives: cross channel bridge

Boris and his Bridges

(Original edit of article written for Taxi magazine).

So, Boris Johnson has suggested a bridge spanning the English Channel? It’s a shame no-one has supported his idea – it sounds great! The idea might seem fanciful, but it’s entirely possible that Boris’s idea could be realised with the right backing. Had the French suggested it, the suggestion would have been taken seriously, but because it’s that mischievous mop-top, people just laugh about it. Maybe people remember his garden bridge idea, the one that cost the taxpayer £46 million without a brick being laid? Fair enough, but at least he has a go.

The bridge idea seems strange in the light of Britain’s forthcoming exit from the European Union, but if we managed to bridge the English Channel, it would open France wide open to both tourism and commuters. Structurally it’s do-able.

A bridge would be much more versatile than the present tunnels for trucks and trains. A bridge could open up the continent to many forms of transport, including pedestrians. There could be some kind of tram connecting the two towns at both ends. Pedestrians wouldn’t normally be expected to walk the whole length, but there could be a rank of Boris Bikes at the foot of the bridge. I wonder if taxi drivers from Kent ever get any runs to France? The bridge could lend itself to fixed-price shuttle services from both the English and the French side (cross-border hiring legislation will need to be looked at).

Any new bridge project would have to be planned properly though. Would it be built to British or French specifications? Would they switch to driving on the other side of the road half way over? The bridge would have to be very long, but also very wide. I expect the French would want to build a few wine bars and patisseries on it. Very nice too. And they’d need a bit of greenery on which to walk their little doggiess. This could be a garden bridge by the back door, only bigger and better.

A bridge administered by the British is more troubling – just look at the London bridges that we are familiar with. Although it would be in Kent, the British section would no doubt be run in accordance with TfL’s anti-motorist agenda. How long before contractors are sent to mark out cycle lanes? A paved strip will then appear down the middle of the carriageway, to provide jaywalkers an unlimited crossing space, and to provide an extra lane for cyclists and motorcyclists, just like Regent Street or The Stand. Segregated vehicle, cycle and pedestrian lanes – by all means; but please don’t let it resemble the chaos of the London bridges. It’s not just the old mayor that we need to worry about; the present one needs watching too.

The foot of the bridge would soon become an untidy mess of rickshaws and Uber cars. Ice cream vans will appear on the bridge; plus pavement artists, blokes painted silver, &c., &c…  I feel sorry for the good burghers of Dover or Calais if that bloke with the bagpipes re-locates from Westminster Bridge.

It must be about twenty-six miles from Dover to Calais – about the same length of a marathon. This won’t go un-noticed by interested parties. In no time, the bridge will start being closed for running and cycling events; perhaps food festivals, bus rallies, Pedestrian-only shopping Sundays, and American football promotions. Imagine the Christmas light switch-on?

Some people think travel through the European Union will become more difficult, but I don’t think things will change too much. We had to show passports at the French border in the 70s, and we still do. Security would have to be high though, and that’s not cheap. A new border would be created with passport and immigration checks. If there are any terrorist incidents in Europe, it won’t be long before metal barriers are put in to narrow everything down further.

None of this will affect us in London, but British pride is at stake. We have the opportunity to show our EU friends across the water that we’re still open for business and that we are still proud Europeans. We don’t need celebs to open the bridge; just someone with some enthusiasm: I’d have the chap with the flags at that tourist shop on Piccadilly Circus to do it.

It’s an exciting vision from Boris, and I commend it to the house.

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